Ralph Gamelli has been published in MonkeyBicycle, Raging Face, Science Creative Quarterly, and McSweeney's. He's the kind of person who, if he hears you utter the word "cashew," would quickly say "gesundheit" in response and then brush it off as a stupid joke. But secretly he thinks it's hilarious.
That's right. The postmark is real. I've gone ahead and done it. I've become an international jewel thief, just as I said I would.
Remember how you roared with delight the first time I admitted this secret desire of mine ...