Russell Bradbury-Carlin

Russell Bradbury-Carlin gave up his corporeal existence long ago. He now exists only as a series of bytes and electrical impulses distributed through out the internet. You can visit aspects of him (the humorous parts, anyway) here at Yankee Pot Roast and at McSweeney's, Science Creative Quarterly, The Big Jewel , as well as other sites. But if you are interested in visiting with him in his most condensed form, check out his Web site, All My Shoes and Glasses. Please note: if you visit his site between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m., please be quiet--that is when he sleeps.

Selections from Henry David Thoreau’s Lost Walden Chapter: "The Last Month of Winter" Why didn’t I bring anything with at least a little bit of color in it? My red bowtie? My nice set of blue drinking glasses?
I Am Glad My Childhood Dreams Did Not Come True I wanted to wear X-Ray Specs, use the Force, and be the Six-Million Dollar Man.
How To
So Now You're a Therapist You need scarves--lots and lots of brightly colored scarves. And you need to learn to tie them around your neck in jaunty knots.
Happy Birthday from the Future I am sorry that I ruined your birthday. You are right—it would have been more helpful to warn you about World Plagues I and II.
The Gummy Bear Survival Guide Gummy Bears want to kill you. It's true.
All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Kindergarten Cop Life lessons from the action-comedy-drama starring Penelope Ann Miller.
Magician Doug Henning Has Something on His Mind The Illusionist. The Prestige. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. This sudden flood of "magician" movies and books would lead one to think that magicians only existed before our modern times. Sure, there were hack magicians back in the time of...
Masterpiece Theatre
Masterpiece Theatre Presents: Charles Dickens' Bleak House, Starring the Gremlins Welcome to another evening of Masterpiece Theatre. Tonight, we have a special event--an adaptation of the classic novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens ... portrayed by the Gremlins from the 1984 motion picture.
Ferris Bueller Fills In for The New York Times Magazine's Ethicist Remember--the question isn't "what you are going to do with a fake day off from work", it's "what aren't you going to do?"
Clouds: Important! Clouds are fascinating. Day after day we flit about our lives and pay little attention to these fluffy airships. We shouldn't ignore clouds, though. No, there is much--much, much, much--that is too important about them. Let me take a moment...
A Few Ideas for the Next Film in George Romero's Zombie Series Twelfth Night of the Living Dead: The Bard meets George Romero: cross-dressing zombies in the 16th century. Who's a man? Who's a woman? Who's living? Who's dead? Hilarity ensues ...
The Absent Adults of Childhood Favorites Speak Mrs. Tina Brown, Mother of Charlie Brown: "Wah wah wahhhh waaaah, wah wahh waah waahhh wah.
Pay the Rent: A Solo Play Exploring Gender Politics

The Scene: None, except for one prop--a single piece of paper folded into an accordion.
Enter Actor. Picks up piece of paper, holds it in the middle, and places it under his nose--a moustache. He is now the Evil Landlord.
Evil Landlord: You must pay the rent!...

Masters of My Domain: My Vices as Characters from "Seinfeld" Characters Pride -- JerryEnvy -- ElaineSloth -- GeorgeGluttony -- Kramer Scene: Pride's apartment. Pride, Envy, and Sloth are standing around the kitchen. We come in the middle of a conversation. Pride: I could go without it for a couple of...
I Sound My Chlorophyll Yawp   One of Whitman's Leaves of Grass Responds It started with a corpulent guy who loafed and looked for my soul, crawling on soft knees searching for stem and stone, bearded head lifted toward leaves and branches, looking for something...
Hills Like Stuffed Tigers: Calvin Discovers Hemingway I am on the hunt. My hands feel gritty against the stock of my rifle. Sweat and dirt have tightened my grip. I turn to my faithful friend, Hobbes. “Do you have the scent of the prey?” “What prey?”...

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