William Sawalich

As a small child, William Sawalich likely lived in a house with peeling lead paint. He collects everything from pine needles to plastic fruit, but his true passion is crushing aluminum cans. He once received a fortune cookie that read "You will always have good luck in your personal affairs" and was divorced within three weeks. When he's not trying to stick it to The Man, Sawalich considers himself a passable photographer, a tolerable writer, and just barely a filmmaker. He is a valued friend to some. Sawalich has lived in towns from Illinois to California, and almost nowhere in between. Except St. Louis, which is where he lives now. He has two dogs. Their names are Hazel and Myra. He is full of it. Sawalich's favorite words are "absquatulate" and "cinnamon," and his pet peeves include the gray heels on white tube socks and people who write ridiculously unfunny biographies in the third person when they were clearly written by the subject him- or herself. Also, he is fat.

Why the 1981 James Bond Movie For Your Eyes Only Is the Greatest Motion Picture Ever Made A biathlon that turns into a snow-skiing chase scene with motorcycles.
An Excerpt from Gotcha! The 500 Best Practical Jokes for Amputees Chapter 4:The Great Outdoorsa (Pages 45-46) ... and while the mark is wiping her face on her shirt, with the prosthesis in your clean hand, simply wink and say, “Gotcha!” #131, A Day at the Beach. Sunny days seaside can...

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