Yankee Pot Roast


Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Cupcake! Dear Jerry,

Happy 69th Birthday!

Look, I've never seen an episode of “Law & Order” (I have trouble reconciling formulaic episodic drama with my suspension of disbelief—long story) but I was unable to avoid the media hoopla surrounding Detective Lennie Briscoe’s sendoff from the show. Then I learned you're not really retiring, you're just squeezing ever more blood from stones in yet another “L&O” spinoff. Jerry, from what I understand, the police department has a really solid pension plan, and its common for officers to retire in their 40s. At this point, you've played this sourpussed cop longer than the run of The Fantasticks, and I've already mentioned to you my inability to digest ludicrous bullshit on TV “dramas.” It's time for this old cop to retire, Jerry. Get a boat or something.

Do you like how I completely avoided mention of Baby’s being put in corner?

Happy Birthday, Jerry!

Best wishes,