Fun for the Whole Family!
And those enemies at school! You can make whole books about them. That primadonna Liz, who got to play Cleopatra in the school play? With a mere picture of her, some KELLEY PUTTY!™ and a few blank pages (sold separately), you can show her in her latest role—as Jabba the Hut®! And the turdy Mikey guy she likes? He can become Dianna Ross®’s corpse, wearing Cap’n Crunch®’s uniform.
Frankie, who always wants everything his way? Miss Nancy, the goody two-shoes? The rich snot Jackie, or Lizzie, who thinks she’s a queen? You can stretch the truth about all of them!
The possibilities are endless with fun and fabulous KELLEY PUTTY!™. Hey, there’s always that creepy class president. Did he cheat or what? Now’s your chance to show him up just as he’s trying to win another popularity contest. There are pictures of him everywhere. People want to find out all about him and all of his brothers; maybe even about his Mom. Take action! Take Advantage! Press KELLEY PUTTY!™ into service on photos, cartoons, memories, old report cards. Stretch things out. Print things down. This can be a monumental task, but it’ll be worth it!
You can turn him into a kindergartner looking up skirts during naptime! You can prove he dumped all his toy soldiers in a bucket of oil. You can show him with powerful friends, peeing in the sandbox. You can make him puke, fart, and blow stupid sentences past his lips! You can stretch and stretch, because KELLEY PUTTY!™ is guaranteed for at least 600 pages of whatever you care to print!
And remember, Kids! KELLEY PUTTY!™ not only is loads of fun for the whole family, but with it you can print things that are completely unauthorized, uncorroborated, and therefore nearly untraceable! They can even be almost unreadable!
Print the straight truth, print distortions—no one will know what to believe, but your classmates will beg you to take their lunch money so they can find out all about K-I-S-S-I-N-G, and turtles in girdles, and all sorts of things they’re too afraid to try themselves. Who cares if any one believes you, as long as you’re popular and can get extra deserts?
Buy your own container of fun and fabulous KELLEY PUTTY!™ today!
Available at the toy and gift section of Barnes & Noble.