Yankee Pot Roast



Blurbs from My Conservative Colleagues for the Back of My New Conservative Book

Matthew Tobey

“Matthew Tobey’s words are like bubbles of poisonous foamed milk in the double nonfat half-caff lattes of liberal America!”
                                                                            —Michael Savage

“Once Matthew Tobey’s book enters the body, it works by stimulating certain opioid receptors that are located throughout the central nervous system, in the brain and along the spinal cord. When Matthew Tobey’s book binds to the opioid receptors, a variety of physiologic responses can occur, ranging from pain relief to slowed breathing to euphoria!”
                                                                            —Rush Limbaugh

“Chapters three, eight, eleven and thirty-four are an axis of awesome!”
                                                                            —David Frum

“I can’t decide if I’d rather fashion Matthew Tobey’s book into a phallus and make sweet love to it or fashion it into a bullet and shoot Bill Clinton in the face with it!”
                                                                            —Ann Coulter

“Reading Matthew Tobey’s book made me forget the horrors of prison for about five-seconds. Two thumbs up!”
                                                                            —G. Gordon Liddy

“Matthew Tobey writes with the wit of a latter-day Joe McCarthy and the wisdom of a genetic hybrid of Grover Norquist and Strom Thurmond!”
                                                                            —William Kristol

“I would take the other hand with the baba ghanoush thing and I'd put it on Matthew Tobey’s book’s pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business!”
                                                                            —Bill O’Reilly

“Out-shrugs Atlas Shrugged!”
                                                                             —Sean Hannity