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LITERARY QUIRK

DAILY PIECE    |    FEATURES

G.W.'s FRUIT SALAD    |    LETTERS

BIRTHDAY CARDS TO CELEBRITIES

SUBMIT    |    KINDRED SPIRITS


March 26, 2003       |       Today's Terrorist Threat Level: ORANGE?       |       Happy Birthday, Amy Smart!

en garde!

A
T V - C O M M E R C I A L
S C R I P T


BY
RAY STILLMAN



Two TEENAGE GIRLS spot a PREPPIE GUY strutting in the distance. They giggle and swoon, then chase after him.

Off screen, two Aretha-sounding SOUL DIVAS sing:

First Singer (Second Singer):
Who's that walkin' down the street? (Who?)
That boy with the funky beató (Who him?)
Hey there, handsomeó (Heeeey there!)
Is that a salami in yo' pocket? (What?)
Salami! (Girl, you said it!)

Announcer:
Salami Pants! New from Old Navy!
Made with an extra large interior pocket! Now you can carry your salami anywhere!
To the beach!
To the movies!
Even to work!

First Singer (Second Singer):
Ooooh yeah!
(Look at that salami!)
It's so biiiiig!
(Mmm, it looks delicious!)

Announcer:
Salami Pants! Available in many styles!
Oscar Meyer!
Hebrew Nat!

First Singer (Second Singer):
(Don't forget Genoa!)
Come here, salami boy!

Announcer:
Old Navy Salami Pants! Now on sale! Only at Old Navy!









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