INT. – A SILO SOMEWHERE IN IDAHO – DAY
It is 1982 and the potatoes are piled atop one another in difficult living conditions, even for potatoes. The Spuds family sits around waiting to scrub each other after a tough day avoiding deportation to the French Fry Death Camps.
PAPA SPUD, (2 months old, slightly greenish) sits across from his son, SPUDSIE CRINKLE CUT (1 month old, the cleanest skinned potato in the silo).
PAPA SPUD glares at SPUDSIE through one of his 15 burgeoning eyes.
EXT – NIGHT - The red potato district of Dublin, OH. Filthy potatoes with enormous eyes and huge gouges cut out of their skins mill aimlessly about. Sirens can be heard.
PIMP (6 weeks old, a grizzled half-fried potato).
PIMP throws SPUDSIE down on the sidewalk and threateningly holds a masher.
INT. – SILO - NIGHT
PAPA SPUD is lifted from the silo and thrown in a pile of green potatoes to be sold to Ore-Ida at discount wholesale prices.
MRS. SPUDSIE, (SPUDSIE’S mum) is penning a letter to SPUDSIE begging him to come home and take his rightful place as the head of the silo.
CUE MUSIC. (George Michael’s rare, better yet, never heard rendition of Danny Boy)
Next week’s episode of "Potato, Come Home" can be seen in Julienne-Vision only on the New WB!
[ * Courtesy Potatohelp.com * ]
Discoloration of Potatoes