Sir, first I'd like to thank you for taking the time to meet with me. Now, as you can see, I have a presentation, very in-depth, that I'd like to take you through. No time for shenanigans? No problem, I'll get right to the point: I need an intern.
Now, now, I know I've come to you before with half-baked ideas but I guarantee you that this time, I went full speed ahead. I'm fully baked. I'm barely-even-hold-my-head-up-without-feeling-like-it-weighs-23-pounds type baked. So I've been thinking, an intern would be good. I'm asking you because I'd like you to sign this contract that states you are legally employing me and that you accept full responsibility for my actions should the hot intern I plan to hire be subjected to any inappropriate behavior by the likes of me. Nothing to worry about really, just sign there.
Why? Are you crazy, you senile old bat? I totally need an intern. I've created a list of duties that an intern could take on that would provide her the opportunity to hone valuable life skills. Mutually beneficial to me, symbiotic like those birds that eat the scraps out of a croc's teeth, if you will, the intern doing my duties will free me up to do much more important stuff which I have yet to even fathom because I'm so busy doing the things I have to do to survive in this rat race you're running. So the list of responsibilities would include:
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