[ * Some new blogs y'all should learn to love: First up, the wonderful Alexandra Kleeman's Technicolor.org is part of your complete breakfast. For a sensible lunch, chow down on For No Obviously Apparent Obsessive-Compulsive Reason, a collective blog by a bunch of lunatics. Stand-up comic Dave Rubin's Rubinville offers a healthy, hearty dinner. Lastly, Y.P.R.'s very own Geoff Wolinetz has way too much time on his hands and thus offers a nightcap in the way of
[ * Have you read (parenthetical note) lately? You should for two reasons: 1. Because it's (pnote) and (pnote) rocks the house. 2. Because today, Y.P.R.'s Josh Abraham has a piece on (pnote) entitled Some Things I Will Try to Cleverly Work into Flirtatious Conversation, Should I Ever Get the Chance to Speak with
[ * Enjoy. * ]
Host: Welcome back, folks! During our commercial break, our judges’ panel voted to award Barry 15 points for his answer, “Denmark.” Turns out that is a country in Europe after all. Who knew? Okay, now’s the time when Barry and Sally will go head to head in our lightning round!
Tina: My name is Tina, Bob.
Host: Please save all questions for the end of the round, Sally.
Tina: It’s Tina!
Host: Okay, here we go! Barry, what is the capital of my pants?
Barry: What? I’m sorry, I don't… did you say “your pants”?
Host: Sorry, Barry – lightning round! Sally, who invented my pants?
Tina: What? I... my name is Tina. Tina!
Host: Okay, Sally--
Barry: Are all these questions going to be about your pants?
Host:. Barry, what year were my pants introduced?
Barry: What the hell are you talking about?!? Uh, I don’t know, 1982?
Host: No, sorry. Sally, how many miles wide are my pants?
Tina: Two hundred.
Host: No, incorrect. Barry, what poet wrote “My Pants, My Pants”?
Barry: Um... uh… Robert Frost?
Host: Incorrect. Sally, how many pants does it take to pants?
Tina: It says “Tina” on my nametag, and on the big screen on my podium. And, you called me “Tina” for the first two rounds. Did you have a stroke during the commercial break or something?
Barry: Who cares what name he calls you?!? Why is he asking about his pants?
Host: Barry, which president passed the My Pants Act?
Host: More specific?
Barry: Uh? Hmm. Uh. Teddy?
Host: No, sorry. Sally, which pants more? My pants or my pants?
Tina: Um. Your… pants?
Host: Please hold on, I need to consult with the little man who lives in my pants… No, sorry. Incorrect. Barry, if my pants are traveling at 30 miles per hour eastbound--
Barry: Okay, that's it, I'm leaving.
Host: Well. Well, by default our winner turns out to be Sally!
Host: Step right up to the winner’s circle, Sally… Jakarta was the capital of my pants, Leonardo da Vinci invented my pants, 1936 is the year my pants were introduced, 16.6 miles wide, Longfellow, Franklin Roosevelt, a horsefly, and Chicago. Sally, as our winner, you’ll be receiving a home version of my pants, a new Dell computer, three pairs of my pants, Rice-a-Roni, and… a trip for two to my pants! Plus, of course, you get to come back in the fall for our Tournament of My Pants! Everybody give a big hand for my pants. Thank you, and we’ll see you tomorrow on “My Pants of My Pants!” Good night, folks!
© MMIII, Yankeepot Roasted Chitlins