1. Catch Steely Ramadan tonight at Babylon Ballroom.
2. Throw some rocks at Great Satan Invader troops hanging out and sipping Pepsis at Mohammed's Café Americain.
3. Try the grilled goat at Trattoria Abdul.
Tomorrow, Tehran celebrates the grand opening of its new F.A.O. Shi'ite toystore. Bring the little ones to see special live appearances by costumed characters J.I.had Joe, Burka Barbie, and the adorable little creatures from Pokémohammed. Sponsored by Mecca Cola, event organizers will be distributing free grenades, goat dip, and Infidel trading cards to all kids under 10. It promises to be a rip-roarin' jihad for one and all! [Rolling Stone]
·Hot on the heels of Qatar's move from "qaTAR" to "QATar," the wealthy oil regime formerly known as Kuwait jumps on the bandwagon, and is now to be pronounced "KUW-it", to rhyme with "Just do it," or "Jennifer Love Hewitt."
· The grand mufti's fatwa against digital music piracy goes into effect at second sundown. Download Mp3s from Gazaa while you still can. [via Farq]
· The Inexplicable Vaccum Project continues! Large numbers of people are simply disappearing at set times all over Ramallah and Hebron! Where are they going? Why are they leaving? Nobody knows... unless you're one of the lucky few with the inside scoop.
· Friendistan, the hot social website spreading like smallpox, is now getting into the clothing business: It will be printing its female users' eyes on custom T-shirts. Wear a sexy stranger's 90% covered visage on your chest!
· A new tape supposedly recorded by Saddam Hussein was released this week, in addition to praising his "heroic martyr sons" Uday and Qusay, the dethroned dictator also lauds the new Beyoncé/Jay-Z song. "I cannot get enough of that 'uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh-uh-oh' song," the voice attributed to Saddam Hussein says. [Page Six]
· One of the perks of a newly freed society is imported American television, and if there's one show that calms the anxious, violent temparament of the Iraqi street, it's the hit new reality series, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Word in Tikrit is they're planning a local spinoff next year to follow "Trading Burkas" on Iraq's Liberation Network (formerly Saddam-TV). [Al Jazeera]
· They're still looting in Basra! What's left to take? [NY Daily News]
· After Tuesday's Strokes concert, three starstruck teenage girls hung around the parking lot waiting for the band to emerge... and when the infidel rockers stepped outside they were treated to a full ankle-to-kneecap stripshow! The groupies were stoned to death at dawn. The Strokes will be performing at Ibrahim Plaza tonight at 9:30; local emo band Omar Eat World opens. [NY Daily News]
· Spotted! Salman Rushdie shopping at the Medina Barnes and Noble, flaunting blatant disregard for the fatwa calling for his death. Later, Rushdie and his unnamed super-model girlfriend du jour met up with Jay and Mavis Leno for dinner at Lucky Farouk's.
· Ubiquitous flack Lizzie Grubman seen haggling over the price of hummus at the 2nd Avenue Halaal.
· Sibling rivalry was in full effect last night at the Casbah Lounge V.I.P. room where hip heiresses Nicky and Paris Hilton partied with decoy body doubles for Uday and Qusay Hussein. The foursome shared a hookah before leaving together...