NICKNAMES I HAVE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND�S CHA-CHA
Ruth
Dolores
Vera
Bessie
Gina
Enid
Gladys
Pilar
Delicious Mushpuff
Mary-Ann
Ann-Marie
Indira
Fred
Gwendolyn
Hoobastank
Imelda
Basement Jaxx
Cheech
Chong
Sweet & Lowdown
NICKNAMES MY GIRLFRIEND HAS FOR MY MANHOOD
Roger
Harvey Penis
Penie P. Penisson III
Calvin Bigrod
Doc
Mr. Majestic
Orlando
Thor
Galactus
Se�or Hugecocko
Dr. Dick
Seamus O�Monstercock
Thumper (?)
Rock
Grandpa Murray(??)
U-571
NICKNAMES I HAVE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND�S YAMMIES
Who-Whos
Wa-Was
Yobbieyobbies
Pachangas
Maracas
Bloopie Doopies
Jumblies
Flibbie Flabbies
Blub blubs
Ploop Ploops
Wonga Wongas
Dollies
Sacco & Vanzetti
Pibby Pabbys
Blumpy Dumpies
Two Tenors
Jan & Dean
Steve & Edie
Glorpy Blorpies
Uday & Qusay
Paris & Nicky
Mary-Kate & Ashley
Serena & Venus
Tiki & Ronde
NICKNAMES MY GIRLFRIEND HAS FOR MY APPENDECTOMY SCAR
Cronky.
Philbert
Jebediah
Brocktoon
That looks infected.
NICKNAMES I HAVE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND�S UNSIGHTLY MOLE
Marilyn
Cindy
Hairy Mary
Bernie Mac
Globule
Molero
Molson twin
Mephistopheles
Molarity/Molality
Hortense
NICKNAMES MY GIRLFRIEND HAS FOR ME BASED ON MY IMPRESSIVE SEXUAL STAMINA
�Marathon Man�
Speedy
Dasher
Boy Racer
Zippy
Quick-Draw
Premature Ejackson 5
Hey, who�s chasing you?
Shrimpy
Skimpy
Wimpy
Pansy
Pussy
Chump
You're faster than a Kenyan on crystal meth, I mean, seriously.
Mini-Me
NICKNAMES I HAVE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND�S FAT FUCKING THIGHS
Logs
Trunks
Cottage-Cheesy Yuckies
Thumps
Dumps
I thought you were going to the gym
Trucks
Tanks
I�m just saying�
Totems
Redwoods
Really, get off the freakin� couch, woman.
You used to be so skinny and smooth
You�re turning into your mother
You nag like her also
And by the way, those low-riser jeans are frightening small children and dogs
Have some self-respect, you fat sow
I know you slept with Greg
NICKNAMES MY GIRLFRIEND HAS FOR MY FAT STUPID FACE SHE WANTS TO SMASH WITH A GODDAMN IRON
I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns, you miserable prick
I hope you rot in hell for all eternity
You stupid asshole, did you think my own sister wouldn't tell me what you did?
In your car? In your car?? You're a real fucking asshole.
Ughh.
I can't believe I even went out with you.
Pervert.
And I saw you looking at my cousin. She�s 15, you sick bastard.
Fucking pervy freak.
That�s it. We�re through. Honestly, don't ever talk to me again.
Okay, fine, one last mercy/breakup fuck, then it�s over, Harvey Penis.
Chump.
*SUBMIT! SUBMIT!.*
*ARCHIVES! ARCHIVES!*
*BEA SHIRT! BEA SHIRT!*
