A quick note regarding Graphology: The submissions have been greater in quantity and quality than we expected, and we thank all the good people out there who've written or drawn us something groovy. We originally set no deadline for entries, then we nearsightedly chose November 30. Because things have been snowballing, we're gonna keep that open a couple more weeks. So if you're itching for fontless creativity, check out Graphology and buy some stamps.

" T H E   C A T C H E R   I N   T H E   R Y E " : T H E   U N A U T H O R I Z E D G E R M A N   T R A N S L A T I O N BY KEN KRIMSTEIN Ja, so, dis is der story uf me, a young mensch who vanders arount New York mit dem red hat on mein kupf. So, der is all diese peoples, they really, how you say, pissing me off. Ich bin ein pissed off teenager, if you know vat I'm saying to you? So, anyhow, ich see all these ducks in Central Park, very beautiful, ja. And I am so, so angry at dis and dat. Vy? Vy ist me so wery angered? Because they ist der phonies! They ist der shams. Der phony, phony phony! All mit der smiling and laughing! Vat ist dis here, 99 Luftballoons? Mein Gott! So, ja, I making up mein mind I'm no more going back to my Pensey school. Nein! Mit more of dem phonies. Sorry to Charlie! Then, you understand, der ist ein carousel, going round unt round. And there ist dis catcher, he's grabben der kinder auf der rye. So, that's it. Ja? Now, what you say we dance? Unt an ein, and a zwei... Oom pah pah, oom pah pah! What? Why? Wow.