Four Things I Wish I Were
- An original cast member of Porky's
- A strip-club D.J.
Four Things Gilbert Gottfried Is Not
(As of now)
Four Best Performances by Quadrupeds in Films
- Gopher, Caddyshack
- Puxatawny Phil, Groundhog Day
- Toto, The Wizard of Oz
- Juliette Lewis, Cape Fear
Four Things Our Forefathers Had on Their Minds While Declaring Independence
- Cool wigs
- How fat Ben Franklin got from indulgence in sex, tea, and wigs.
The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!
A Letter from Brent D. Glass, Director, Smithsonian National Museum of American History
George Washington's To-Do List, July 4, 1776