LITERARY TUMBLE

DAILY PIECE    |    FEATURES G.W.'s FRUIT SALAD    |    LETTERS BIRTHDAY CARDS TO CELEBRITIES SUBMIT    |    KINDRED SPIRITS

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C R A P P Y   O S C A R   S O N G T H A T   I S   N O T  C L E V E R B U T    S H O O T S   F O R C H E A P   L A U G H S B A S E D   O N R E C O G N I T I O N O F   P O P   M E L O D I E S A N D   J U X T A P O S I T I O N O F   M O V I E   T I T L E S It's a wonderful night for Oscar Oscar, Oscar Come and see. It's a wonderful night for Oscar Oscar, Oscar Nominees ... And the nominees are ... [To the tune of "Jungle Love" by The Steve Miller Band] She brought her car to the mechanic He thought he had seen her before He called up a phone sex hotline Then kicked out his sister's glass door Punch-Drunk Love! It's driving him mad It's making him crazy! [To the tune of "One" from A Chorus Line] One Gang patrolling New York Bowery Boys'll kick your ass! See Daniel Day-Lewis This movie isn't drek! Ooh! Ahh! He came out of his hiding O-ver This movie we are dying Gangs! Of! New York! [To the tune of "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey] Just a small planet queen, now she is a Senator She took a midnight ship out to Coruscant She's sitting in her room, waiting for Anakin They tried to rub her out down in Coruscant Nerds mobbed movie theaters, just to get their Jedi fix Sith or Jedi, who will wiiiiiiiin? I went, gave wedgies, it's how I get my kicks Attack of the Clones in the niiiiiiiiiiiiight! [To the tune of "D'Yer Maker" by Led Zeppelin] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh "Unfaithful" is hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot Richard Gere is not-not-not-not-not-not Baby, please don't gooooooooooooooooooo I-I-I-I-I-I I love Diane Lane-Lane-Lane-Lane-Lane-Lane All pleasure, not pain-pain-pain-pain-pain-pain Baby, please don't gooooooooooooooooooo When I saw her cheat on Gere, it made me glad-glad-glad When it wasn't with me-e-e, it made me sad-sad-sad I still love you so Just let Rich Gere go I love you. Ooh, baby I love you. [To the tune of "Guys and Dolls"] If you see a bloke getting busted for coke You can bet that he's shedding a couple tears When you spot a man who's making amends Chances are he intends to spend his last night with all of his friends. When you meet a louse going to the big house For a term that could last almost seven years It's not good losing power But it is his 25th Hour And this guy's going to take the falllllllllll So It's A Wonderful night for Oscar Oscar, Oscar Who will win? It's a wonderful night for Oscar Oscar, Oscar This is fin.

MORE OSCAR COVERAGE Nominees    |    Goodie Bag    |    Song Postcard from J.R.    |    B.V.'s To-Do List H.Y.'s Acceptance Speech

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