Yankee Pot Roast Does Not Judge You, Ya Big Wierdo

LITERARY TRANSMUTATION

G.W.'s FRUIT SALAD | LETTERS

BIRTHDAY CARDS TO CELEBRITIES

SUBMIT | KINDRED SPIRITS

oh my god, you're kidding! say you're kidding! you're not kidding?!? oh. my. god.

D E A R H E I N Z

BY
JOSH ABRAHAM

Heinz Consumer Affairs
P.O. Box 57
Pittsburgh, PA 15230
March 12, 2003
Dear Heinz,
Could you help me out with something? I'm totally stumped.

Ketchup.

Thanks, Heinz.
Yours truly,

Josh Abraham

P.S. You guys kick Hunt's's ass

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ewwww! stinky!

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