The White Stripes at the Hotel Yorba
10 a.m. — The Hotel Yorba.
Hello, operator. | |
Hello. Hotel Yorba—reception. | |
Yes, I would like to book a room for Meg and Jack of the White Stripes. | |
Oh, the popular beat combo—of course. What kind of room would they like? | |
Er … A double. No, a twin. No, singles. Er … A little room. | |
May I suggest a suite with two bedrooms? | |
Yes, that would be good. | |
Do they have any special requirements? | |
Er, yes. Let me get the list. O.K. | |
We will try our hardest to accommodate them. | |
O.K. First: a ball and biscuit, a blue orchid, little acorns, aluminum, apple blossom, screwdriver, and a little bird. | |
That should be no problem. Anything else? | |
Er, yes, Jack would like a white moon, red rain, black math, white blood cells, and jumble, jumble. | |
Hmmm … Passive manipulation, methinks. As ugly as I seem, and I don’t want to offend in every way, I fear I’m wasting my time contemplating these requests. | |
I just don’t know what to do with myself if I can’t get you to agree to them. | |
I’m finding it harder to be a gentleman. Does Meg have any weird demands? | |
Er … one more cup of coffee because sugar never tasted so good. | |
I think I smell a rat. |
That night—The Hotel Yorba.
Jack and Meg: same suite, different rooms.
Look, let me tell you why I want separate rooms. | |
You’ve got her in your pocket. | |
I’m lonely but I ain’t that lonely yet. Now, Mary, for god’s sake! | |
When I hear my name … What’s going on, John? | |
Sister, do you know my name? You’re pretty good looking but I want to be the boy, the same boy you’ve always known. I fell in love with a girl. | |
It’s true that we love one another. Can’t I be a boy’s best friend? We’re going to be friends. I can’t wait. Let’s build a home. I can learn. Why can’t you be nicer to me? | |
You just take, take, take. (Aside:) Forever for her is over for me. Were you expecting a union forever? | |
I’m bound to pack it up. I’ll become a little ghost. | |
Do. That’s the denial twist. I suppose I’ll have to call the nurse, and you’ll get the St. James Infirmary blues, but, girl, you have no faith in medicine. | |
I’ll be covered with dead leaves and the dirty ground in the cold, cold night; the air near my fingers will be icy and I’ll send you a death letter. | |
That’s my doorbell. | |
Truth doesn’t make a noise I’ve got the instinct blues. | |
Stop breaking down, you elephant. You need to hypnotize me before I do what you want. | |
Touch me, Jack. | |
No. That’s the hardest button to button. | |
I fought piranhas without this protector. | |
Yeah? You and whose seven nation army? | |
Me, Jimmy the Exploder, and Suzy Lee. | |
Oh, the big three who killed my baby. | |
Oi! There’s no home for you here. |