Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Zloty Exchange Rate:

1 USD = 3.95 PLN
1 Euro = 4.67 PLN

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Latin!
Mea culpa.
My bad.

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Monday, May 5, 2003   |    Fiction
Cinco de Flag

¿What Are We Doing with Our Empty Corona Bottles?

Lining ’em up, putting a glove on top, à la “Laverne & Shirley.”

Braining people who ask for Dos Equis.

Melting down whatever crazy crap is at hand and Presto! Instant Cinco de Mayo Memory Glass!

Rinsing them thoroughly, letting them dry in the sun, then filling them with urine and leaving them on the curb for Chester, the bum who lives in my Dumpster.

Playing “Guess What I’m Shoving up Your Arse.”

Smashing them and wielding the jagged remains by the bottleneck, challenging fellow revelers to an impromptu bar brawl.

Sending messages to Gilligan.

Tossing them off the overpass and watching the cars on the highway below skid, swerve, and blow tires, thereby venting the pent-up rage that’s been boiling within me ever since they yanked “Felicity” off the air.

Tossing them off the overpass and watching the cars on the highway below skid and swerve and blow tires, thereby selling more of my quality discount tires. Remember: Pepito’s Tires never tire! Mention this ad, get 25% off snow tires!