Misheard Song Lyrics, Schizophrenic Edition
by James Connelly
Actual lyric:
“Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.”
— “Blinded by the Light” by Manfred Mann
Misheard as:
“Animal robots at the post office will slice off your fingertips.”
Actual lyric:
“Excuse me while I kiss the sky”
—“Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix
Misheard as:
“You must pass urine in front of the president”
Actual lyric:
“Don’t it make my brown eyes blue”
—“Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue” by Crystal Gayle
Misheard as:
“The girl from Tokyo next door is spying on you. Right now. Crouch down. Lower. You must cut your hair to disguise yourself.”
Actual lyric:
“There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
—“Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Rival
Misheard as:
“The person you think is your wife is a clone. Your real wife lives in the radio tower. Go there.”
Actual lyric:
“The girl with kaleidoscope eyes”
—“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” by the Beatles
Misheard as:
“Feed the cockroaches. Feed, feed, feed, feed, feed, feed.”
Actual lyric:
“I’ll be watching you”
—”Every Breath You Take” by the Police
Misheard as:
“I’ll be watching you, Dave.”
James Connelly works for the Electric Co. in Phoenix, Arizona. He writes for publications such as
Randy Gentleman,
Lavatory Etiquette Monthly, and
The Nose Putty Journal, which are nonexistent.
