Happy Birthday, Bob Seger!

Dear Bob,

Happy 58th Birthday!

Bob, I’ve got to tell you this: everytime I hear that “Like a Rock” song, it brings a tear to my eye. And it makes me want to buy a car. A Chevy, maybe. Or a Ford. I don’t know why, but something in that tune of yours instills an overwhelming sense of pride in me for the American automotive industry.

Just the other day, I was shopping in my local Wal-Mart for some canned peaches, garden hoses, and some 3-in-1 oil (party tonight), and I heard “Like a Rock” piped in through the Muzak. I’ll be damned if I didn’t drop my purchases right there, march out of the store, into my Chevy van, and right to the local Chevrolet dealer. I bought a Caprice, right there, right then, all because I heard “Like a Rock.”

The problem is, I’ve got like fifteen cars already, and I really can’t afford to keep buying new ones. I’ve tried ear muffs, but they don’t filter out anything. Your song is just too damn powerful. Like a rock, indeed, Bob.

Happy Birthday, Old Timer!

Yours,
Josh

P.S. What’s with the Silver Bullets? Is it in honor of Coors? Or to protect against werewolves?