& Recently . . .

Phone Call Informing the New Nobel Prize Winner in Physics of His Award, Shortly after He’s Had a Breakdown and Reverted to a Childlike State, as KISS Alive Plays in the Background

by David Gianatasio

“Hello, professor? Stockholm here. You’ve won the Nobel Prize for your work on the heat-death of the universe.”
Stars are pretty.
“Yes, well said.
“Star light, star bright,” as it were. You’ve out-shown them all. You’ve won, professor!”
Pretty stars …

R.I.P., Nipsey Russell

by Nick Jezarian

1924 — 2005

Polish Fact

Unofficial State Mottos
Bóg, Honor, Ojczyzna ("God, Honour, Fatherland")
Za wolność Waszą i Naszą ("For your freedom and ours")
Ojczyzna, Nauka, Cnota ("Fatherland, Education, Virtue")

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Holen Sie mir Ihr feinstes Fleisch und Käse.
Bring me your finest meats and cheeses.

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Saturday, October 8, 2005   |    Daily Garfield® Digest

Get It? Because He Ate the Bird

Jon spots a single, yellow feather. “Is that a canary feather?” he asks. Garfield says, “Not anymore.” This is supposedly hilarious.