Dear Mr. Mottola,
Why are you being such a prick? I’ve been sending you a demo tape on 8-track every single week for a year, and yet still I have no recording contract. Be honest: Do I really suck? Or are you just a prick? I don’t think my singing sucks, pal.
P.S. Can you at least send me back some of those tapes? 8-track tapes are costly and hard to find, you prick.