I am Y.P.R.'s Boring Logo
Fun, Fickle Fiction (for Free!) Fact, Opinion, Essay, & Review Spectacular Features, Calendrical Happenings, Media Gadflies Poetry & Lyric Advice, How To, & Self-Help Listicles Semi-Frequent Columns Correspondence (Letters To and Letters From) Interviews The Book Club Letter from the Editors Disquieting Modern Trends Birthday Cards to Celebrities New & Noteworthy The Y.P.aRt Gallery Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera The Y.P.aRchives Submit

 Atøm | Spanish
supportbar.jpg Bea!   Creative Commons License
This journal is licensed under a Creative Commons License and powered by Movable Typo 4.01.
Y.P.R. & Co.

The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Thursday, January 16, 2003

Happy Birthday, John Carpenter!

Dear John Carpenter,

Happy 55th Birthday! On this, John Carpenter’s Birthday, I thought I should take the time to let you know that John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China is my favorite movie of all time. Of All Time! It’s positively the best supernatural kung-fu sci-fi action-adventure fantasy comedy movie ever made. It’s got a wrinkly old karate-kickin’ guy named Egg, it’s got a big ugly orangutan beast, it’s got thrills, it’s got chills. Plus it stars Kim Cattrall. *Meow!* She’s sexy.

I’m a sucker for a good sci-fi/horror/action potboiler any day, and John Carpenter’s Ghosts from Mars and John Carpenter’s Vampires and John Carpenter’s The Thing rank among my top twenty, for sure. It’s a good thing (no pun intended) that you included the article “the” in the title, because John Carpenter’s Thing might sound like a porno.

Keep up the good work, and have a happy John Carpenter’s Birthday.

All the best,
Josh Abraham