I am Y.P.R.'s Boring Logo
Fun, Fickle Fiction (for Free!) Fact, Opinion, Essay, & Review Spectacular Features, Calendrical Happenings, Media Gadflies Poetry & Lyric Advice, How To, & Self-Help Listicles Semi-Frequent Columns Correspondence (Letters To and Letters From) Interviews The Book Club Letter from the Editors Disquieting Modern Trends Birthday Cards to Celebrities New & Noteworthy The Y.P.aRt Gallery Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera The Y.P.aRchives Submit

 Atøm | Spanish
supportbar.jpg Bea!   Creative Commons License
This journal is licensed under a Creative Commons License and powered by Movable Typo 4.01.
Y.P.R. & Co.

The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Happy Birthday, Joe Piscopo!

Dear Mr. Piscopo,

Happy 52nd birthday!

This morning, I was scanning the shelves at my local Blockbuster Video for some good Piscopo movies when a man in a Stetson hat accosted me and demanded I return his typewriter. I’d never seen the man before, and, what’s more, I don’t even own a typewriter. I tried calming the man but he was irate and waved his hands furiously as he repeated his demands. I decided the Man in the Stetson Hat must be a crazed lunatic. I quickly struck him in the neck with a defensive maneuver taught to me by a Nepalese sherpa, and the mad fellow went down in the Action/Adventure aisle. Action/Adventure, indeed!

I high-tailed it out of the video store, Mr. Piscopo, headed straight home, and, after two glasses of rye to soothe my nerves, I decided to type this letter to you seeking advice, because you are a very big movie star and must deal with crazed lunatics like this all the … Oh. This typewriter. Oops. Never mind. Please disregard.

Happy Birthday, Joe!

All the best,