O.K., let me ask you a question. I’ve been watching some reruns and I noticed that Laverne wears an “L” on all of her shirts. I also noticed that there is no “S” on any of your shirts. What gives? Why did you not avail yourself to the fashion trend of wearing your first initial on your clothing for all to see? Was it not sufficiently 50s for you? Or are you one of these stuck-up chicks who doesn’t return my phone calls? Is that it? Am I not good enough for you? What, I don’t make enough money or drive a good enough car for Ms. Shirley Feeney? Well, excuse me for even asking.
Happy fuckin’ birthday.