& Recently . . .
Advice from Topeka
by Carol Novack
“Never trust nobody & you’ll live a long life.” —Edna Peatree A woman slips a note into a copy of the latest Reader’s Digest on sale at a shop at Dallas airport. The note reads: Hi. I’m Muffy. I’m young…
“American Pie”—A Fresh Slice
by Jeremy Martin
The song “American Pie,” by Don McLean has been heavily analyzed since it was first released in 1972. As with many popular songs containing largely symbolic lyrics such as “Stairway to Heaven” or “Hotel California,” the song’s meaning is examined…
What Truffaut Taught Me
by J. Sallini-Genovese
I knew nothing of the world. Experience abandoned me to my adolescent womb, my senses dull from disuse. Then, one day, I ran away. I ran and the strong ones followed, determined to invalidate my freedom. When they got close,…
Blurbs from My Conservative Colleagues for the Back of My New Conservative Book
by Matthew Tobey
“Matthew Tobey’s words are like bubbles of poisonous foamed milk in the double nonfat half-caff lattes of liberal America!” —Michael Savage “Once Matthew Tobey’s book enters the body, it works by stimulating certain opioid receptors that are located throughout the…
The 2005 Associated Press Stylebook Supplement for the Liberal Media
by Mick Stingley
(With notes by K. Friedman, M. Dowd, et al.) Acceptable synonyms for Republican, Republicans: bastards, Republican bastards, idiots, morons, greedy Republican bastards, Jesus-freaks (always use hyphen, as with God-squad), fucking Republican scumbags, self-righteous uninformed twats, frat-boys, cocksuckers and cumdumspters (first…
An Excerpt from Bill O’Reilly’s Upcoming Book, How to Have Hot Sex Using a Falafel: For Kids
by Christopher Monks.
Hey, kids, one thing we know on “The Factor” is that you need to be prepared before you start any new task. Lack of preparation is just asking for trouble. And don’t try to spin it any other way: if…
Polish Fact
Population Growth Rate:
0% (2003 est.)
Learn a Foreign Tongue!
Learn German!
Gute Himmel, haben Sie einen reizenden Busen. Mag ich ihn berühren?
Good heavens, you have a lovely bosom. May I touch it?
Y.P.aRt Gallery
The buxom broads at Bust magazine have had the good taste to select Y.P.R.’s Bea Arthur T-shirt as part of its 2004 Holiday Gift Guide. Yup, there we are: right under “Gifts for Your Gay Boyfriend.” Huh. Um. Available in all sizes, a few colors, and varying quality. Enjoy!
