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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Popular Adages from Surly Richard’s Almanack

“A stitch in time saves nine, dumbass.”

“He that lies down with dogs shall rise up with fleas, you idiot.”

“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and I hate you.”

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Also, I wish you were one of the two who were dead.”

“A fool and his money are soon parted. Shut up!”

“You need to stop. You need to just stop. O.K.? God!”

“I’ve always thought you were a real dick, Neil. A real dick.”


“Get out of my face, dude. I’m about to break something.”

“I’m serious!”

“I hate you for the rest of my life.”

“Light-heel’d mothers make leaden-heel’d daughters. Buttface.”

Lucas Klauss hails from Georgia and lives in Brooklyn. He reads books with names like Lacrosse Firestorm for a living. His work can be found at McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The Apiary, and