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Monday, April 21, 2003

Happy Birthday, Tony Danza!

Dear Danza,

Happy 52nd!

You’ve starred in several successful sitcoms. You even starred in a family drama until they cancelled it and moved all of the furniture out of your office. You are the subject of a nice and very popular Elton John song (“Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza”). All of this and only 52 years old! The question is: what is next for Tony Danza? I think I have the answer.

I’m in the process of casting for the film adaptation of my book, Dancing Monkey. It’s the story of a monkey from Africa, who travels thousands of miles to fulfill his dream of becoming the sidekick to a blind organ grinder. Along the way, there is much hardship. In the big city, the monkey’s poor downtown apartment is robbed and his life savings are stolen. He must take a job cutting fish early in the morning down by the docks. Ultimately, he triumphs and makes his dream come true. I have secured Marcel the Monkey from “Friends” to play the lead. Uma Thurman will be playing his love interest. I think you would be perfect for the role of the organ grinder. Please let me know if you’d like to take this role. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think the phone’s ringing off the hook. Am I right? Think about it.

Hey, happy birthday!

Geoff Wolinetz