Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Land Area
304,465 sq. km
(slightly smaller than New Mexico)

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Impari L'Italiano
Buone notizie per la gente che ama le notizie difettose.
Good news for people who love bad news.

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Monday, May 26, 2003   |    Fiction

Memorial Day Mania!

Remember Our Fallen Heroes


Since the Revolutionary War, countless brave young men and women have given their lives for their countrymen. Only very few have had their last words recorded in the annals of history…

Private Mickey Thomas, World War II:
“Hey, do you know you look just like Charlie Chaplin?”

Private Charlie Muckle, Viet Nam:
“Hey who keeps calling my name?”

Private Ben Watterly, World War II:
“You’re the traitor? You, Heinrich Massimo Mokumoto? I can’t believe it!”

Private Ricky Rodriguez, Korean War:
“Hey, you know what? This stuff doesn’t taste like chicken—”


General William Cornsmith, Revolutionary War:
“A red coat, really? That’s so 1775…”

Unknown soldier, World War I:
“I’m sick of sitting in these trenches. Who wants crepes?”

Commander Richard Fleagle, Civil War:
“If I don’t make first flute chair in the troop marching band, I don’t know what I’ll do…”

Private Tyrone Smith, Grenada:
“Sheeit, this ain’t nuthin’ like that Allen Sherman song. ‘Camp Grenada,’ my ass.”

General Ruford Clifton, War of 1812:
“Do you smell frying baloney? Oh, I see. That’s my legs on fire. Well then…”

Private Horatio Hufferton, Spanish American War:
“Walk softly and carry a big stick? Poppycock. The wise man walks loudly and wields no weapon”

Private Tyrone Smith, jr., Gulf War:
“Hey fellas. Mind if I put on some Kenny G?”

Sargeant Nathan Fudgewall, Civil War:
“Look over there! Here comes General Sherman now. I bet he’ll love Atlanta.”

Private Thomas Walker, World War I:
“I smell mustard. Hey, everybody, mustard! Let’s go see what’s cookin’—”