Happy Birthday, Christopher Walken!
Dear Mr. Walken,
Happy 60th Birthday!
I’m a soft-shoe dancer with moderate singing abilities looking for a role model. I have seen your Saturday Night Live appearances and I must say, you are good. Very good. Would you consider mentoring me? I am having trouble with the potaburay (sp?) and stopping on “pizazz.” All I need is a little coaching and I understand you have a distinguished theater background. I have a couple of old Liberace tapes that I’ve gone over like the Zapruder film in hopes of picking up a little of his, um, “flair” but it has been to no avail. If you could help me out, I would be truly honored.
P.S. Could you send me an audiotape recording of you saying the word “passport?” I’d really appreciate it.