& Recently . . .

Tidings of Joy

Folks, Yankee Pot Roast is calling it a year. In 2003, we had many good times and only a few bad. We made many new friends and some enemies, too. We thank all our readers, all our writers, all our…

The Roastee Responds

by Neal Pollack

Imagine if you were to wake up from an innocent sleep on Monday morning after a nice weekend with your family only to find that a bunch of strangers were waiting at your front door to kick you in the…

Never Mind the One-Liners

by Henny Youngman*

Neal, it’s almost Christmas and you’ve given me the best gift I could possibly ask for. You never come over anymore. Seriously though, folks, every night I get into bed, I take off my clothes and I read one of…

Polish Fact

Machine building, iron and steel, coal mining, chemicals, shipbuilding, food processing, glass, beverages, textiles.

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

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Ik heb twee draaischijven en een microfoon.
I've got two turntables and a microphone.

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Thursday, December 25, 2003   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday, Jesus Christ!

December 25, 0 | Jesus Christ | carpenter

Dear J.C.,

Happy Birthday! I know everybody’s buying you frankincense and myrrh and Xbox for your birthday, so we were totally stumped. You’re a hard person to shop for! But then we remembered that carpentry was one of your hobbies, so we were thinking maybe you could use a new sander or workbench or something, but we didn’t want to get you something you already had, so we got you a 25-dollar gift certificate to Ace Hardware. Ace is the place! Ace! Enjoy!

Joy to the world, peace unto you, God bless us everyone, etc., etc., etc.

Happy 2003rd Birthday!

Yankee Pot Roast