Happy Birthday, Paul Walker
Dear Paul,
Happy 30th Birthday!
Paul, I live in the Bronx so I see the impact you’ve had on the world. Now, most people might dismiss the importance of your not-so-critically acclaimed filmhouse masterpiece, The Fast and the Furious. I for one, am not one of them. Since you so deftly portrayed the inner struggle of Detective Somebody-or-Other opposite Vin Diesel (who really is an atrocious actor, by the way, but looks cool), the proliferation of Honda Civics pimped out with tinted windows, expensive rims, loud mufflers, and hot Spanish chicks has been unworldly. I mean, I never knew that with just $20,000 you could make a piece-of-shit car look like a much nicer piece-of-shit car. I guess its just plain math though, right, Paul?
Good luck with the DVD release of 2 Fast 2 Furious, although I think you should have fought harder with the studio to make it The Fasterer and the Furiouser. Keep on suckin’!
Happy birthday.
Yours truly,
Nick Jezarian