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Infantile Nomenclature

by Ray Stillman

If you are a virile man like me with dashing good looks and inexhaustible stamina, it’s probable that you’ve impregnated many women all over town and even some in far away places. Or you may be a pregnant woman yourself,…

Potty Humor

Things I’ve Dropped into the Toilet at Work my co-worker’s Zagat’s guide my wristwatch, while trying to retrieve my coworker’s Zagat’s guide. my pants, while trying to retrieve my wristwatch a bagel and cream cheese surgical tubing, 1/8” in…

An Intervention Discovered upon Peeling off the Label on This Bottle of Beer

by Mike Ng

According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. Some women should not drink alcoholic beverages because they simply cannot hold their liquor. You, Tara Cohen, have a…

Polish Fact

Military Manpower:
10,354,978 (2003 est.)
[Army, Navy(!), & Air Force]

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Many Languages!
Meat-stuffed pasta pocket:
Ravioli (Italian)
Wonton (Cantonese)
Kreplach (Yiddish)
Pierogi (Polish)
Pelmeni (Russian)

Y.P.aRt Gallery

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Monday, July 21, 2003   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday Larry ‘Bud’ Melman!

July 23, 1921 | Calvert DeForest | enigma

Dear Mr. DeForest (née Mr. ‘Bud’ Melman),

Happy 81st!

I’ll never forget the day that I first saw you hold up a sign on “The Late Show with David Letterman.” The sign said, “Eat me.” And I was truly inspired. And it was on that day that I decided that I was going to be a sign holder. It didn’t matter that my parents were wealthy Park Avenue urbanites. It didn’t matter that my father was a partner at a successful investment-banking firm. Or that I was educated at Spence, matriculated for four years at Yale University earning a degree in International Affairs, received a law degree from Oxford. None of that mattered. My destiny was to hold a sign. And now I do.

Come see me on the corner of 35th Street and 5th Avenue in New York City. I’m the guy with the Subway sign. I’ll buy you a sandwich.

Eat Fresh!

Geoff Wolinetz