Happy Birthday, E. L. Doctorow!
Dear E. L.,
Happy 73rd birthday! Good grief, E. L., I can’t believe Britney got married and unmarried in, like, less than 24 hours. It’s all so overwhelming. I’m in complete emotional upheaval here. I mean, how can she be America’s forbidden fantasy when she’s all used goods now? I don’t know what to think! I guess I’d still marry her, if given the opportunity, but I’m really uncomfortable being anybody’s second husband. Sigh.