Happy Birthday, Joel Grey!
Dear Joel,
Happy 71st birthday!
Joel, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins is my second-favorite thing in the whole world. (Most favorite? Laffy Taffy.) Sometimes, I spend whole weekends just lying on the floor watching Remo Williams, eating Laffy Taffy until I pass out in a giddy, hazy, sugary delirium.
My birthday wish for you, Joel: May you find a giant bag of your favorite confection and a VHS copy of your favorite movie, and spend your whole weekend on your living-room floor.
But, Joel, I’m slightly confused/concerned… You see, I thought you were Chinese, as you appear to be in R.W.:T.A.B., but when I looked up your fan club on the “Internet,” it turns out you’re whiter than country music. What gives, Joel? Also, I searched for some pics of your daughter, Jennifer Grey (my all-time favorite actress, and my fourth-favorite thing overall, behind Laffy Taffy, Remo, and “The Ketchup Song”). I barely recognized her! I thought some “Internet” hackers were digitally photomanipulating her face, (you know, like they often do with famous actresses’ faces and not-famous smut stars’ naked bodies, dripping wet and straddling a cello), but no—it turns out your daughter had a nose job! What’s going on here? Are the Greys on the lam? Are you guys hiding from mobsters or something?
I’m worried, Joel. Worried.
Happy 71!
Sincerely,
Josh Abraham