& Recently . . .

I’m Sorry, What?

by Geoff Wolinetz

I’m sorry, what was that you said? I couldn’t quite hear you. I’ve got a leprechaun in my ear. A leprechaun. Yeah, I don’t know. He’s in there though, and he loves to talk. Something about stealing his pot of…

Dear Secretary of Transportation

by Geoff Wolinetz

Dear Oxford

Dear New York Times Book Review

Polish Fact

Temperate with cold, cloudy, moderately severe winters with frequent precipitation; mild summers with frequent showers and thundershowers.

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Portuguese!
Christ Doce! Esse prostitute é realmente um homem!
Sweet Christ, that prostitute is really a man!

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Literary Tommyrot
Tuesday, March 11, 2003   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday, Joey Buttafuoco

March 11, 1956 | Joey Buttafuoco | mechanic/celebrity boxer

Dear Jospeh,

Happy 47th Birthday!

I was shocked to look at my watch and find that it has been over a decade since you have been in the public eye. I think I speak for most of America when I say, “Where have you been?” or “We miss you,” or “Do you still have those zebra-striped muscle pants that you wore when you were diddling the high-school chick in the back of the garage?” America wants to know!

Also, your name: Is it pronounced “Butta-foo-co” or is it “Butta-foo-O-co”? Or is it neither of those? I’m pretty solid on the “Butta” part; it’s the “fuoco” part that’s a real noodle-scratcher. I’ve been confused since you made your first TV appearance, all those years ago. Those were salad days, weren’t they? Oh, yes, indeed. You were the first bizarre scandal in a long series: Tonya Harding, Lorena Bobbit, et cetera. You set the standard, my friend.


Geoff Wolinetz (“Wolla-netz”)