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Dear Chas, Well, who’s America’s most famous lesbian daughter now? You got served, bitch! Happy birthday! XO, Mary Cheney…

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Literary Piffle
Monday, March 5, 2007   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday, Penn Jillette!

March 5, 1955 | Penn Jillette | magician

Dear Penn,

How do you do that trick where take away your assistant’s vocal cords? See, I’ve got this assistant at the office—she’s an excellent worker, and quite a peach, but something of a chatterbox. It’s always yap, yap, yap, all day long. I can’t take it. I don’t want to fire her, I just want her to shut up for a little while. At least until her mother is either cured or dead from lupus, because if I have to listen to her complain about that anymore I’m going to lose it.

Thanks, and have a happy birthday.

Deepak Chopra
Deepak Chopra, M.D.